Meet The Chefs

Kerry ( Five Speed and the Seven Slammin Sixty-Niners) Head Flavor Chef

 

  • What do you vape at work?

A franken flavor I created “Muahahaha” Pumpkin Cheesecake+Doughnut Panic+Ford Prefect

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

Allester Crowley, you don’t get more badass than him.

  • What is it you say that you do here?

Complain a lot about the team members who don’t do shit.

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement of technology in the last 20 years?

Assisted Suicide

  • If you were a piece of office equipment what would you be?

It would be awesome to be a stapler. Punch holes in everything I touch.

  • How long have you been vaping?

About 4 years

  • What did you do before working here?

Sat around and stooped a bunch of hot chicks.

  • Netflix or HBOGo?

Neither, get outside and enjoy life.

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Chris (Super) Party Boy & Resident Joker

  • What do you vape at work?

Drogon, Black Pompom, Miley Pearus

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

The Incredible Hulk. He’s smart, but a troubled soul, who can lay the mightiest of ass whoopings.

  • Walk me through a typical day, for you?

Hitting snooze 20 times, 45 minute commute and listen to Preston & Steve. Coffee and a bagel, stick bottles while watching YouTube, along with a combo of crazy Vapor Chef antics. Come home, either work out or chill. Netflix and chill with my lovely girlfriend, eat, sleep, rinse & repeat.

  • If you could be a piece of office equipment what would you be?

A speaker

  • How long have you been vaping?

5 years

  • What did you do before working here?

Certified Nurse’s aide, getting into nursing school.

  • What’s on your Ipod?

115 GB of tons of stuff. Mostly hip-hop, electronic, classic rock, metal, and alternative.

  • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

Dave Attell, we would have a crazy drunken adventure. Filled with drunken philosophy and inappropriate jokes.

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Stacy (Nicey McNicepants) Artist & Resident Mean Girl

  • What do you vape at work?

Doughnut Panic

  • Do you Voop?

Yea, that’s gross!!

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

Captain Spaulding, he has all the fun.

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement of technology in the last 20 years is?

The Little Rooster, you always wake up with a smile.

  • Walk me through a typical day, for you.

Draw an inappropriate image, eat. Call someone something inappropriate, eat, then make someone cry. Eat, shower, then sleep.

  • Can I borrow $5?

Do I look like a bank?

  • How long have you been vaping?

Almost 5 years.

  • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

No one.. They are people, and I really don’t like people.

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Sean Fill Room Engineer & Flavor Chef

  • What do you vape at work?

Coolcumber Melon, Doughnut Panic, Arthur Dent, Sansa

  • Do you Voop?

No… OK maybe sometimes… at my home.

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement of technology in the last 20 years is?

I don’t know, there are so many. Maybe the Pilot Speech translator by Waverly Labs.

  • Walk me through a typical day, for you.

Wake up, do something illicit, brush my teeth, drive and listen to an hour of metal or electronic music while on my way to work. Eat a ridiculous lunch, drive an hour to a friend’s house after work to work on cars. Come home and drink bourbon, more illicit activity, shower, and then vegetate on League of Legends and Call of Duty. Sleep, wake up, and repeat.

  • How long have you been vaping?

Almost 5 years

  • What did you do before working here?

Food service industry for almost a decade in multiple roles. (FOH & BOH)

  • What’s on your Ipod?

Trivium, Metallica, As I Lay Dying, Massive Attack, August Burns Red, Lamb of God, Angel Vivaldi

  • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

Matt Heafy from Trivium, we could cook a ridiculous meal, play guitar, and get schooled by him haha. Possibly play a game of league.

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Ando (Commando) Fill Room Engineer & Flavor Chef

  • What do you vape at work?

Doughnut Panic, Lazy English, FDA Smackaroon,

  • Do you Voop?

What’s that mean?

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

My mother, because of the way she raised my sister and I.

  • Walk me through a typical day for you.

I wake up, smile, and shower. Do my best for the day, then go to sleep. Oh, and play with my cat, Jasmine.

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement in technology in the last 20 years is?

Robocop

  • Can i borrow $5?

I will give you $5, for $5 in quarters. I need laundry money.

  • How long have you been vaping?

Almost 8 years

  • What did you do before working here?

Professional sand castle artist

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Roy (Boy) Purchasing Inventory & Warehouse Manager

  • What do you vape at work?

It varies depending on my mood, usually Doughnut Panic or Peach Melba

  • What do you vape at home?

Anything to get me out of the house, usually Doughnut Panic.

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

Batman, because Batman.

  • What is it you would say that you do here?

Purchasing, inventory, warehouse, packaging, and running a secret gambling ring… Shit!

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement of technology in the last 20 years is?

WebTV

  • Can I borrow $5?

I’ll ask my wife.

  • How long have you been vaping?

4 years

  • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

Amy Schumer, no further questions about this..

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Stephen (Swoll Bro) Resident Eye Candy

  • What do you vape at work?

Hobbes Blood

  • What do you vape at home?

I don’t vape at home.

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

One Punch Man. Why not?

  • Walk me through a typical day, for you.

I am really just here to start fist fights, so…

  • How long have you been vaping?

Almost 3 years.

  • What did you do before working here?

Worked the corner.

  • Netflix or HBOGo?

Firestick “wink, wink”.

  • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

Joe “The Brosiah” Rogan, we would hold hands and skip through the park.

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Cory (The Doctor) Director of Operations & Warden of the Asylum

  • What do you vape at work?

Sansa and Doughnut Panic

  • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

Beast from X-Men, how much longer is this going to take?

  • What is it you would say that you do here?

Tell you to get back to work..

  • What do you feel the greatest achievement of technology in the last 20 years is?

That chip I implanted in the back of your head, before lunch.

  • Walk me through a typical day, for you.

Coffee, Emails, yell, more coffee, phone calls, yell more, left arm tingles.

  • If you were a piece of office equipment what would you be?

A truck that transforms into a gun.

  • How long have you been vaping?

Since February 2010.

  • What’s on your Ipod?

Is it 2004? Spotify recent plays, Kendrick Lamar, MF Doom, Bad Religion, Counting Crows, Death Cab

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Ian IT & Self Proclaimed Fixer

  • What do you vape at work?

    Doughnut Panic or Strawberry Milk

    • Who is your favorite superhero and why?

    Not really my thing, are The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles superheros? They work as a team to accomplish a common goal, usually on the side of justice.

    • What is it you would say that you do here?

    I am a fixer and a filler inner.

    • If you were a piece of office equipment what would you be?

    A paperclip, I am flexible and keep shit together.

    • Can I borrow $5?

    I don’t know can you?

    • How long have you been vaping?

    4 years

    • What‘s on your Ipod?

    WTH? What year is it?!?! I listen to almost everything but country. ODESZA, Lily Allen, Adele, Babymetal.

    • If you could spend the day with any celebrity, living or dead, who would it be, and what would you do?

    Nikola Tesla, we would chill in his lab electrocuting shit, and wirelessly charge all my devices.

    Read more →